I’ve invested a lot of time in researching teenagers and their soulmate searching process. When I was a kid, I would take notes of everything I thought and felt about certain guys, confidence (or lack there of) in myself, how dating these guys worked into my “future husband” list, and lots of other situations that happened. I use these notes, lessons from wise women before me, and scriptures I’ve came across over the years to mentor teenagers that are on this same “hunt” to find their Mr. Right.
A lot of times, we get so stuck on the idea of events that surround the guy we like rather than the guy itself. Think about it: you get so caught up in the wedding when you’re engaged you sometimes forget about that groom at the end of the aisle. And how many times have you dated a wealthy guy and not thought about the lifestyle he could give you?
One thing I never really thought about when dating a guy was the long term holiday plans. I mean, I assumed we would do Christmas like I’ve always done Christmas…with my family.
CHRISTMAS EVE EVE: Celebrate at my Granny’s.
CHRISTMAS EVE: Celebrate at Momma Kay and Grandaddy’s.
CHRISTMAS DAY: Celebrate with my mom and dad.
Never did I think that my future husband would have his own plans and traditions for Christmas. It was that moment that my realizations shifted from thinking, “My family is gaining a son,” to knowing “I am gaining a family.”
12 years ago, this picture was taken.
Ben and I had been dating about 11 months. One point on my “future husband list” was MUST BE ACTIVE WITH HIS FAMILY. At this point in our marriage, we knew that we would be together for life; we just had to wait on timing (and money 🙂). We wanted to be a part of each other’s Christmas plans as much as possible. Insert, the six Christmases. Yup…we did six Christmases that year. We wanted to uphold all the traditions, but more than anything, we wanted to do them all together.
Wrapping my head around being a part of “another family” was tough, mainly because my family was so grounded in traditions of their own. I am so grateful that Ben’s family allowed me to be a part of their traditions…as if I had been there all along.
The special thing about gaining a family is that they get to stand beside you on very important days.
Just as God had put that special guy or that special girl in your life for His purpose, He also put you into that family for His purpose.
I’m so grateful to carry the name “Bradford.” I’m grateful for the new traditions we’ve created. I am in constant prayer that Peyt and Ellie are just as blessed as I am with their additional family’s one day. We don’t do 6 Christmases anymore. That part is hard. Traditions change, people pass, new people are born, and sometimes you find yourself in the middle of a pandemic. But family is constant; the love doesn’t change just because the traditions do.
From our family to yours: Have a very Merry Christmas!
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