In fourth grade, I had a couple of girls who would always greet me with some form of “encouragement” at school. They would make comments on my height, on my weekend plans, and on my clothes. For example: “You’re so tall. You’ll never have a boyfriend.” “Why are you excited to go to Sci-Quest with your family? That’s for babies.” “Your jeans look like mom jeans.” Some of the comments would really hurt. It would make other kids laugh. Sometimes it would make me cry. I brought it up to my mom one night and her resolution was, “Don’t listen to them. They are just saying that because they are jealous.” At 9, this didn’t make any sense to me. By twelfth grade, I realized that the ringleader of this group had a pretty terrible fourth grade year. Her dad was an alcoholic, her mom had moved out that year, she was raising herself, and learning how to shoplift name brand clothes from her older sister. She would have given anything to have traded places with me. She wasn’t jealous; she was envious.
I’m still studying to truly understand the differences between the two. When I turn to the scriptures, it becomes more clear. It helps me understand how involved Satan’s temptations are in all of our lives.
I always thought it was strange when our perfect Lord was described as a jealous God in Exodus 34:14. Aren’t we told not to be jealous? No! The Bible never calls us to not be jealous. The Bible tells us not to covet or envy.
Jealousy is fearing the loss of something you already have. You are God’s precious child. When you choose your own desires over his plans for you, He becomes jealous. God specifically mentions this to Moses when the temptation of idol worship comes into play. Coveting and envy is desiring something that belongs to someone else.
“Put to death…covetousness.” (Colossians 3:5) “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, wife, male or female servant, ox, donkey, ANYTHING that is your neighbor’s.” (Exodus 12:17) “Do not love the world or the things in it.” (1 John 2:15) “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.” (Hebrews 13:5) “And He said to them, ‘Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist of in the abundance of the things he possesses.’” (Luke 12:15)
There are hundreds more verses that surround the idea of covetousness. All sin has something to do with the idea of covetousness. Satan presents something to you in an enticing way that will become an idol to you. It becomes all you think about and becomes the main movie reel in your mind, taking the place that used to roll your mission to bring God glory. Look at the first sin. Satan enticed Adam and Eve with the idea of being omniscient. God was omniscient, and they wanted what God had. He didn’t stop at just presenting the idea to them. Satan dropped the line he uses more than any other: “Did God really say…?” He justifies it for you to make you feel as if “you deserve this.” When you add his enticement plus justification plus the world’s “see it, take it, own it” attitude, you’re destined for failure and dissatisfaction.
Go back to Exodus 12 when God is talking to Moses. If we were to modernize God’s message, we can easily see that God is specifically telling Moses the things he needs to not covet: a bigger and better house like Sara’s, a husband like Jane’s who actually listens to you with his whole attention, Karen’s paycheck, Laura’s car, Annie’s Ugg boots, nothing. When we indulge into the “I wish,” mentality, you’re too busy to be grateful for what you do have. And if you don’t have gratitude, you don’t have joy.
What about coveting non materialistic things? Have you ever thought, “I wish people would notice me like they notice her.” “She has the “it” factor, and I just don’t.” “They only let her be the lead. I could do just as good of a job.” When Paul talked to the church at Corinth in 1 Corinthians, this idea of envy possessed the minds of these members. He said, “We all have gifts. They differ according to the grace God has given to each of us. Do you have the gift of prophecy? Then use it according to the faith you have. If your gift is serving, then serve. If it is teaching, then teach. Is it encouraging others? Then encourage them. Is it giving to others? Then give freely. Is it being a leader? Then work hard at it. Is it showing mercy? Then do it cheerfully. (Romans 12:6-8)
The big picture is this: We have all been created with strengths and weaknesses that should be used to glorify God. Don’t like your gift? Tough. You weren’t created for your glory anyway. So if you believe that you are insignificant, you are disagreeing with the plan God has for yourself and for the church. If you believe that you have the potential to do your gift and others, you need to swallow a big humility pill, because God called you to do your job really well instead of doing multiple jobs in a mediocre way. When you don’t stay in your lane and embrace your gift, the church suffers.
Paul heard so many church members complain about their gift not being as good as others, maybe because their gift wasn’t as noticeable or recognized in a public way. Paul told them, “God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be…there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers.” (1 Corinthians 12: 17, 25-26) We, as the church, are only as strong as our weakest member. Paul clearly states that if the body doesn’t work to encourage every single working part, the body will divide and suffer.
My advice on dealing with the addiction of covetousness:
Lift up a prayer of gratitude daily.
Tell those in your life how you are grateful for them.
Identify your gift, and let that be your mission.
Thank God for your gift.
Identify your temptation to covet out loud to someone you trust. You don’t have to have a reason why that is your downfall. just admit it then quit it.
Get off social media (you can’t scroll down your own lane.)
Keep serving the kingdom even if others’ coveting problem convinces you otherwise.
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