I am an Enneagram 3 wing 2 with ADHD and an approval addiction with a hint of an OCD organizational complex.
We’re living in a society that is obsessed with finding out the answer to the questions, “What’s wrong with me?” So, we dive into personality quizzes and self-help books that will give us a category that our characteristics fit into. It helps us to cope with knowing that we aren’t alone when we feel like people don’t understand us. There’s nothing wrong identifying your tendencies or preferences as long as you understand that these qualities are not your identity.
Many of us have received a great blessing of being mommas. We love having our children look up to us with those big, beautiful, adoring eyes. We savor the moments they experience hurt and run to our arms for comfort. And, so I’ve been told, one day I’m even going to miss doing the 4 loads of laundry versus the upcoming 2 loads once they move out. We are moms-we know that; therefore, we know what to do for our kiddos. But being a mom isn’t our identity. If it was, then our kids would be our idols. Our identity is found in Christ. We are children of God (1 John 3:1).
In Dee Brestin’s book Idol Lies, she mentions that anyone or anything that you feel you, “Can’t live without,” is an idol. So many times these things are what hold us back from giving all glory to God. I had brought a new girl from school to visit my church in the 11th grade. I knew she would fit right in with my church group. She knew very little about Jesus and was having a hard time making friends since she moved into town. She came with me for a little over a month before she started becoming very invested in the Christian lifestyle. Some of the questions I needed help finding the answers to. So, I set up a meeting with the preacher. She was getting so close to putting on Christ in baptism and finding true freedom when one Wednesday night, she walked out of the preacher’s office devastated. On the ride home, she explained that her mom had passed away a few months prior to her move. She said according to the Bible, her mom would not be in Heaven based on the way she lived while she was alive. She replied the saddest words I’d ever heard, “If I can’t be with my mom, I don’t wanna be there either.” Her mom was her idol and kept her from carrying out her true identity of being God’s child.
When you use your characteristics like ADHD and enneagram numbers as excuses or identities, they, too, become idols. When we realized we were sinners, our eyes were opened to see that our way of living was selfish, and we had the opportunity to take our qualities and use them for good. We didn’t ditch our qualities just because they were used for evil for so long. Look at Paul. He was an awesome leader. He was a “go getter” and, unfortunately, used those qualities to persecute and murder many believers. But, when he was converted, he used those same, God-given qualities to lead, give hope, and encouragement to so many Christians for generations long after he got his Heavenly reward. He was a legend.
Can I throw out something crazy? What if all the things you or your doctor has diagnosed you with aren’t actually disabilities at all. What if they are super powers? When I got diagnosed with ADHD, I immediately put myself with a “learning disability” label to go with my “over-the-top creative” label. I hit a deep depression and assumed I’d never be able to do certain things because I couldn’t think normal. But Ben informed me that from a counseling perspective in a school system, being uniquely creative combined with something like ADHD is known as “twice gifted.” It’s actually a sought after quality, but is difficult to obtain. Only special people can be twice gifted because they have a special purpose. If I had stayed in my box of loneliness any longer, I would have bypassed my purpose that God was calling me to because I had confused my identity for who I really was: His child. When you know who you are, you know what to do.
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