I used to love when my parents said, “Yes,” to things. They were pretty strict growing up, but they balanced out their “yes’s” and “no’s” appropriately. The best “yes” was when I would ask if someone could come for a play date. This one time, I had a friend over to play. My folks lived on a 5 acre piece of land equipped with an abundant garden and an acre of the most magical woods. The possibilities of things to do were endless…within reason, of course. During that particular play date, I had asked my parents for several things in which I got a resounding, “No.” I didn’t ask questions. I just took the “no” and went on. But my friend was very persistent. She encouraged me to continue asking until I got a, “yes.” I tried that. I never got a “yes,” but I did get in trouble. My friend heard my folks chew me good for disrespecting their authority. I did the walk of shame back to my friend, who had heard the whole conversation. She sat with me in silence for a second and then she said, “Wow, your parents are the strictest parents in the whole wide world.”
My friend Brad told me once that everybody in life gets the same amount of spankings: It’s just that some get their spankings early on by their parents, and others get their spankings later on in life by the police. In the 60’s hippies preached a message of “Do your own thing!” and “Let it all hang out!” But as Christians, we understand that that message translates to self indulgence and freedom from restriction.
I used to envy a bunch of kids I grew up with in high school because their parents gave into their rebellion and gave them that freedom of restriction. Of course, I take that envy back now that I have seen them suffering in the consequences of their life of “loose living.” Loose living is going where your fleshy appetites desire rather than where the Spirit guides you. So, yeah, it’s enticing for Christians, especially. This type of living is often a coping mechanism for people who are unwilling to wait for the Lord. It’s nothing new: In Exodus 32, we see the Israelites participating in this idea of “loose living” when they pushed for Aaron to make the golden idol for them to worship. Moses didn’t come down the mountain in the time they preferred, so they took control into their own hands…and failed. In Luke 15, we see the prodigal son livin’ it up loosely. His father didn’t give him his inheritance in the right time he wanted it, so he decided to take control of it himself…and failed.
Christians today have introduced the idea of situationism as a result of loose living. Situationism (last definition today, I promise) is the theory that a behavior is determined by surrounding circumstances rather than personal qualities. For example, if you are late for work, you won’t tell your boss, “It’s my fault I was late for work.” You would say, “The traffic caused the delay for why I’m late for work.”
Do you realize that this idea of situationism is sneaking into our churches? Kind of ironic how many churches are going to a more convenient and relaxed way of worship, isn’t it? Ideas are being incorporated like having “no negative, all positive” sermons [Smiling back at ya, Joel Osteen], legalism, the idea of “once saved, always saved,” love people not principals, and so much more. Is it a possibility that these ideas are sneaking into our churches because it’s a justification for relieving themselves from Biblical restriction? It’s easy to back up this justification when worldly psychologists are teaching “Guilt is destructive, but unselfish; personal responsibility is codependency.” It leads Christians to adopt the idea of, “God wants me to be happy. If it meets my needs, I’ll do it.” The bottom line is, this spirit of liberalism rejects the requirements of scripture. We knew this would happen. We were told in James 5:19 that many Christians would “wander away,” but did you catch the text?….”from the Truth.”
Jesus gave a testimony in John 8:12-59. He said the things people need to hear, even if it may not be what they want to hear. [Side note: you need friends like this.] He said, “The truth will set us free,” and “you don’t know the Father,” because of how the flesh has misconstrued God to fit their mold, and “If I bring glory to myself, my glory means nothing.” The Jews Jesus was talking to believe in God. So do Christians with a situationism mindsets. So do demons (James 2:19). The difference is, these groups of people don’t believe God. They don’t believe everything he says: the comforting blessings and the real tough stuff; the truth. John 8:31 says that in order to be Christ’s disciple, one must continue in His word. See, freedom is found in obedience of those who do what the word says. When you couple that with peace that is found in authority, your spirit will understand the “why” behind many of God’s restrictions. Your eyes will be awoken to the very strength that the restriction brought about in you to bless your life far more than comprehendable.
One of my biggest temptations as a Christian is talking. One of my biggest talents is also talking. God uses me to speak some great words of encouragement to people. Satan tempts me with feeling powerful when I talk negatively about someone to someone else. I was trying to play it cool with some friends one night. We were supposed to go out together, but we felt obligated to invite this one friend. I text the group suggesting that we just let that one friend go to dinner and then pretend that’s all we were doing. We could act like we were all driving home, but then meet up at the movies. The problem was, I didn’t text the group the plan….I text it to that one friend. I quickly tried to justify the situation with that friend, but that snowball of lies kept getting bigger and bigger. I tried to justify it with myself by going numb to the guilt, but I kept feeling worse and worse. I needed the consequence of guilt. I needed that friend to yell at me to let me know how much she was hurt. I needed to be humbled by knowing that God was disappointed in me. It broke His heart, and as a Christian, it should break mine as well. That was the raw truth. But in that humility, THAT is when we start to truly understand God’s grace.
If I asked you why you chose to be a Christian to start with, what would you say? More than likely, it would be something surrounding the idea that you love God, right? A Christian lives life following Christ because he loves God. Period. It doesn’t have anything to do with the fear of consequence (i.e. Hell) or the accomplishment of the reward (i.e. Heaven). It has everything to do with God-knowing Him-loving Him.
Another situationism concept working its way into the church pews is the crazy statements regarding rules in general. Again, this concept is one in which history has repeated itself. Do you remember in Matthew 12:1-8, the disciples ate the tops of the grain on the Sabbath day? Quickly, the Pharisees jumped down Christ’s throat about his followers breaking the law. Situationist’s love this story because they get to compare their idea of this Scripture’s themes with their rebellion on restriction with statements like, “People take priority over rule keeping,” and “It’s not what we follow but who we follow,” and “Are you committed to Christ or His rules?” and “Modify or change rules for people,” and “Bend rules to human needs,” and “Necessity outweighs precept,” and “love people not principals,” and my personal favorite “optional if inconvenient.”
These ideas give you that feel good message that we, humans, crave. It made the Pharisees feel proud. They shut Jesus down fast with His own weapon. But, Jesus didn’t handle this situation as humans would handle it. Humans want to know “who’s right.” Jesus did, indeed, answer that question, but He answered the more serious issue at hand: hypocrisy. By the way, picking the heads off of grain on the Sabbath is still completely lawful (Matthew 15:6, 23:23), in case you were ready to catch the Bible in a contradictory state. Jesus is still blemish free.
Jesus wrapped up his defense in Matthew 12:7 by quoting Hosea 6:6, “I want mercy and not sacrifice.” These situational Pharisees had no idea what this meant. It means that internal mercy is just as important as external sacrifice. God’s rules aren’t always convenient. Maybe that’s why so many people cling to their own way and time of doing things (Proverbs 21:2). The Pharisees were focused only on the world’s approval and consequence meter. They give in to the idea that serving is hard, full of hard times, and restricted, but “Treat yo’ self” benefits you right now. For our microwaveable generation, the world makes sense…until it doesn’t.
My husband and I both teach school. It’s so funny, especially with elementary students, how many teachers try to become their students’ “buddy,” and not implement many rules. What it turns into is a massive trust barrier between the student and that teacher. Children crave structure; they find trust in a teacher who sets boundaries and implements rules for safety. Psalms 119 is the longest chapter of the Bible. In it, David says some of the most radical phrases this world could ever hear: “I take delight in your rules because I love them,” “I think deeply about your orders; I love them”, “I love your law,” and “I love your commands more than pure gold.” There are too many to list them all. David knew the stability that God’s laws provide. One can’t love God without loving His rules. In the battle of Jesus and The Law, it’s not an “either/or” but a “both/and” situation. If we really know God, and our heart is receptive of His truth, we read that His will for us is free of burden and easy (Matthew 11:30), but if our heart resists His truth and we create our own idea that God wants us to do what makes us happy, then His will for us will feel offensive and hard (Matthew 15:12, John 6:60)
My good friend JJ told me a story about her mom’s pet peeve growing up. There were three girls growing up with one shower. When they would get out of the shower, there would be soap residue still on the insides of the shower. JJ said it didn’t bother anyone except her mom. She would make the girls take a towel down and wipe down the shower after every use. It drove all three of them nuts. She would constantly remind them to do it, and then ask afterwards if they did it. They would rather cut 6 acres of grass and fold 10 baskets of laundry than have to wipe down the shower every single time. JJ and I had a conference a few years ago in Montgomery and so we stayed with her parents. After JJ’s shower, she wiped down the shower. “Why do you do that?” I asked. She thought about it. Her mom didn’t tell her to. She knew her mom wouldn’t ask her if she had done it. She figured if she didn’t do it, her mom would end up doing it. After some thought, she responded, “Because I love my mom.”
“The Lord our God commanded us to obey all his rules. He commanded us to honor him. If we do, we will always succeed and be kept alive.” (Deuteronomy 6:24). We have rules because God loves us. We obey His rules because we love Him more than ourselves. We choose His preferences over our own, even in the storms that we don’t understand. Rules aren’t an infringement on our freedom, they lead us to freedom. My folks are the strictest parents in the whole wide world, and I’m so grateful. They aligned their standards with God’s. We can’t expect perfect ideas from man; man is far from perfect. But, we can expect perfection from God in all His ways.
If there is an area of your Christian life that seems uneasy, offensive, burdensome, confined, and hard, chances are you are in a weak state and tossing around ideas of situationism for temporary escape. Don’t be tempted to put the blame somewhere else, “Admit it, then quit it,” for freedom that is eternal. There’s power in confession and repentance. Cling to His truth, His idea of happiness, His rules, His preferences, and watch His power bring you to the true understanding of His grace. I’ve prayed many times, “God, please walk with me,” when all along my prayer should be, “God, let me walk with you.” “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)
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